Monday, 18 August 2014

Why can’t I come out of this feeling of depression?



I have been depressed for too long. This is somehow not me. But I guess with my consciousness getting older in this body, this feeling of depression is now sticking to me like a leech. The strange thing is I don’t even feel like coming out of this negativity, although the leech aspect is sucking away at my energies, and I can feel it. Not that I am happy about it, but guess, am lazy about it.
I am an entrepreneur, a profession which is signified by courage, by wanting to grow, by wanting to win. Then why is it that I don’t want to do any of these things? Why am I content being as depressed as I am? Why is it that I do not enjoy being with friends? Why do I like being lonely? Have I lost faith in my own self and my Higher Being? If I lose faith in my Higher Being, my very own Guardian Angel or simply put my own Subconscious, which is the connect between me and God or the Universal Consciousness, don’t I know that I would not even be able to breathe. Not because there is a God who would be angry with me and punish me by withdrawing my Oxygen; but if I, the jeev-atma, am unable to ‘draw in’ my life prana, the source of which is Universal Consciousness or Param-Atma, how do I expect to live a Conscious life?
The knowledge is all there. The understanding is all there. But the will to be happy is not there. And whatever I Consciously think and desire, whether responsibly or irresponsibly, in the same hue of the emotion, I know I will draw a magnified experience. Therefore, without any further ado of behaving like a victim with suicidal tendencies, I must come out of this depression as I solely am responsible for my situations. I have to take responsibility of the situations in which I find myself. The situation will change only if I have faith that my thoughts will draw in what I wish my situation to be. And that is what I will henceforth only draw in to my life. I promise.
       www.ashishmehta.co.in